My first “turn”
3 months on treatment and I didn’t imagine I’d be spending some nights in hospital already, here’s what happened best I can remember, it was a scary experience and unfortunately it will happen a lot :(
Bare with this it’s a long story and at the bottom I’ve attached a fair few pictures (some blood to pre warn)
With my chemo tablets I suffer feeling sick A LOT especially in the night and wake up to be sick, but this started on Thursday 12th July, I woke up and I felt sick but a different sick to normal, I nearly didn’t get out of bed I felt awful but I knew “2 Days left of work then weekend” so I went to my mums in my Pjs and first thing she said was “you don’t look well leanne!!” All day I felt off, I went to work and just braced through, I woke up Friday 13th July, and could barely speak my throat was in agony I just thought was swollen glands or something so I was at work trying to speak up as couldn’t speak very well , Saturday 14th July, I had lunch with a friend and then I had some drinks with my partner and his/my friends and I felt great, I had a really nice day, with great company!
Sunday 15th July I woke up and throat was sore again , so I blamed the alcohol and Ashley reminded me it sore before that , and we just had a laugh and I felt “fine” I went to my mums and we had organised to go see Ashley’s new little nephew who is premature so I was constantly worrying that I was going near a baby with a sore throat and I wanted to be 100% certain that’s all it was, I couldn’t risk it , it played on my mind for a while then I eventually rang 111 at 2:05pm, explained my symptoms and about my Cancer , I then got an appointment for 3pm so off we went...
Hospital ...
We arrived at the hospital on time, and went straight to primary care where our appointment was made, we didn’t have to wait long and in I went to see a doctor.
He then told me that my temperature was high and he just needed a word with the “specialist” he then came and told me they need to take some blood and to go through to A&E he handed me an envelope to hand over, I went through to A&E and then lady at the desk opened the letter and stabled it.
Me and Ashley being the nosy sods we are, had a read through and under ‘diagnostics’ was “Neutropenic Sepsis” we googled it and this is what it says “Neutrophenic Sepsis is a life threatening complication of anti cancer treatment, the term is used to describe a significant inflammatory response in a person with or without a fever” anti cancer treatment being my chemo tablet.
We got Called straight through and the women said “I need to take bloods and get you on antibiotics straight away” she got bloods fine (a fair few) then she had 4 attempts at getting a Cannula in, but she couldn’t keep it in the vain , so she had to get another lady who told me “every hour is crucial to get you on antibiotics” she had two attempts then got it in, definitely worked as my blood splattered the wall haha!
The antibiotics went in then off to a room I went..
THE ASSESSMENT ROOM
We stayed in the assessment ward, the doctor came and told me that they caught Neutropenic sepsis just in time, if It had been left another hour I would of had sepsis and it would be a different story!
We stayedin a room till about 11pm waiting on my room on AMU (acute medical unit) to become available and completely cleaned down as I got told I needed to be in a room on my own away from any possible chance of infection ect I wasn’t allowed visitors or to go out the room.
After the antibiotics was in they put me on fluids as my bloods said I was dehydrated, these fluid bags were 8 hour bags, but I constantly have to be on them.
I had my chemo tablet and it got stuck because my throat was so swollen ! Was sore to take it.
On the AMU ward I was in a closed room , and left to sleep (not much sleep, but I was so weak and drained I needed to get much as possible
The next morning they brought me some anti sickness tablets the first one was fine, then I threw the next one back up , so I couldn’t keep tabelts down, so they decided my anti sickness would now need IV through my canular.
A little later few doctors came in and told me I have been lucky and did the right thing to call the hospital as it could of been life threatening (hearing something like that is unexplainable, you just feel sick at the thought you could of let that happen to you) He also explained that unfortunately due to being on Chemo tablets for the rest of my life I will always have Low white blood cells which means I have a weakened immune system (nothing they can do for that) but because of that I am at high risk of catching sepsis/infections/viruses/flus ect, so I need to start preparing for times like this to happen, it’s shocking to know that hospital stays are gonna happen again , and upsets me to know this is the life I have.
He then asked to have a look in my throat and said it is inflamed and red , and that he wants me to get a throat specialist in to have a look and see what they think, he then made a joke about lookin into my partners for kissed me , it relieved some tention and helped Me relax, he also wanted to rule out that this was not because of my cancer reacting to my chemo
An hour later , a consultant came in (one of the cancer doctors as mine is away on holiday) and he said he doesn’t want me to go home or stay in this ward he’s getting me transferred to haematology ward to get the best care with my condition (same ward I was on when I found out about my Cancer)
HAEMATOLOGY WARD
I then got taken up to the haematology ward.
Now before I go on, I must say this ward deserves its own appreciation! Everyone is so welcoming and understanding with everything going on, always check up you, give you the best care, you’re never left in pain and they remembered me from last time, Hospital is so scary , extra scary when you know you have Cancer and things can jsut dramatically change , and they make you feel so relaxed and in safe hands , Honestly can not fault this ward or the staff !
Anyways back to it, got to the ward , room next door to last time , haha!
Got more antibiotics on fluid, and sickness through my Canular.
The nurse came to take some blood later on in the day and unfortunately struggled, after Sunday day all the attempts my arms were bruised and sore!
In my bloods it said I had flow potassium, so they had to include it in my drip.
Each drip was 8 hours then new bag, while in between being on 3 bags of antibiotics a day.
I could only eat in nibble bits at a time, as anymore than a mouth full id feel so sick , drinking also hurt my throat
Then the throat specialist came up and asked how I was, and how I ended Up in here , and had a look in my throat , she said there is inflammation and redness around the throat but she wanted to double check with her manager if they can put a camera down my throat just to rule out anything else.
Her manager agreed and said they’d be back up with the camera.
The nurses on my ward took swabs or my nose and back of my throat to send off, as no infection in my bloods.
About 6.20 the ladies came in to do the Camera, which they go through the nose to get to the back of the throat and luckily all down there was okay :)
They changed the arm of my canular as it was hanging out my arm, meaning no fluid would get in correctly.
I had my visitors saw my Brother and his girlfriend, then my two friends becca and Darren came up as she wanted to see me ! I felt fine I was having a laugh explaining it all feeling good as I’d been in and out of sleeep a lot so I felt I was better !
They went home and then 11pm came .. Chemo time!
At first I felt fine, then about 40 minutes later, my tummy started doing summer saults, I knew I was gonna vomit , worst thing for me is being sick, I really really hate it !
I told Ashley to run and get me a sick bucket as I was still attached with my machine I wouldn’t get me and the machine to the toilet in time!
I threw up and it was lumpy and had some blood in, the nurse came in as She heard and she rubbed my back, and told me it’s okay. She took the bucket to make notes on the blood ect, as she went I then threw up again except it got stuck in my throat and I couldn’t breathe I panicked , Ashley helped and up it came, all together I was sick in 3 sickness buckets , it wasn’t nice, nothing left to come up.
The nurses in the night kept making sure I was dosed up on anti sickness through the night.
I was so weak from being sick that I went to sleep, waking up feelin sick or for my Obs to be done / get my medicine!
NEXT DAY
Nurses told me they will keep me on fluids from losing some being sick and not being able to keep things down.
They kept coming in with face masks on, told me they had to take pro caution, because my swabs have come back to saying I have a virus.. So they have to wear them to protect me from further virus and from them passing it on to other patients
Later they said infection control have found what the virus is so they no longer needs to wear masks (thank goodness! I felt diseased)
Later the doctor came in and She told me that I have Parainfluenza which is a flu virus , and normally the normal human body can fight it off but with someone with a weakened immune system, it can be life threatening and that is why I stayed in to continue antibiotics and get treated !
They came for blood and unfortunately she couldn’t get any out my right hand (only vein left that hadn’t been “blown”) so she asked to get some out of my feet, I explained that much feet was no good I got all hot and sweaty/panicky at the thought of it and that I’d kick out, I burst into tears when Ashley pretends to bite my feet haha !
So she said the only way she can do it , is by going straight into the Artery (wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be) least they got blood !
Ashley had stayed both nights with me in hospital which I am so thankful for especially the night I was sick ! But this night (Tuesday) I told him to go home so he can have a good sleep and rest for work !
WEDNESDAY
I woke up and I felt sick so the nurses came in to give me some anti sickness at about 4am , she went to put the IV in my canular, and she said my arm around it was swollen and badly bruised , as she put the anti sickness in , blood came out my arm where the canular was in my arm it was like a “pop” and it did hurt, she said must of been a clot in the vein. She then went and asked another nurse about taking the canular out or it will keep swelling , they didn’t want to take it out because they wouldn’t be able to get a new one back in because my vains have been shot/blown , she said to keep an eye on it and see how the swelling goes.
6:30 am the women came into get blood and lucky she managed to get some blood!
At 8:45 they told me my bloods have comeback good so I can get off my Fluids (I’ve been on constant since being in here) so that nasty Canular can come out :D
Still feeling sick they gave me tablet forms to try, and injected directly into my stomach.
The swelling has came down and I’m slowly drinking and eating on my own , the nurse said all goes no well and I dong throw up I can GO HOME TOMORROW!
So lots of rest and drinking and take much time eating !!
My white blood cells have gone from 0.something to 3.9!!! It’s still low , but normal for someone on chemo as I’ll alwyas have low white blood cells, hence my weakened immune system
COMING HOME
So it’s Thursday it’s been a long 4 and a bit days, so many ups and downs , pain, sickness, tears ! I have been so strong and managed to build myself back up well enough to get home!!!
They said my blood pressure is still low and if I’m worried they will keep me in, obviously I said NO, I’m ready to go home and get better !! :D
It’s scary and very emotional to know that this is my life now, just over 3 months ago I am a happy leanne getting on with life and now so much has chnaged, knowing scares like this is now going to be apart of my life hurts it really does, no one likes hospitals and I’m always going to be so worried what’s gonna happen next and when it’s gonna happen?! What plans may be ruined !
I had a Cancer retreat on Monday but unfortunately I’m not well enough to go, incase the virus hasn’t completely gone! So I’ve been advices to take some time to relax and stay in and build my energy , lucky I had booked the week off for the retreat , so it’ll give me some time to regain physical strength.
If anything , this scare and upcoming scares has showed me how strong I really am, even though I feel weak due to cancer , I am such a strong girl, to go through all of this and continue to smile and get on with day to day life (when possible)
CANCER IS ONLY A CHAPTER IN MY LIFE, NOT MY WHOLE STORY <3
I will continue to fight this with all I have and with the love and support from family and friends ! And my Amazing rock through every step of this, my amazing boyfriend Ashley, stands by me and I know how hard it is for him to see me go through this, but I would not get through the hospital visits without him !
Together we’re KICKING CANCERS BUTT !!
Leanne xxx
Bare with this it’s a long story and at the bottom I’ve attached a fair few pictures (some blood to pre warn)
With my chemo tablets I suffer feeling sick A LOT especially in the night and wake up to be sick, but this started on Thursday 12th July, I woke up and I felt sick but a different sick to normal, I nearly didn’t get out of bed I felt awful but I knew “2 Days left of work then weekend” so I went to my mums in my Pjs and first thing she said was “you don’t look well leanne!!” All day I felt off, I went to work and just braced through, I woke up Friday 13th July, and could barely speak my throat was in agony I just thought was swollen glands or something so I was at work trying to speak up as couldn’t speak very well , Saturday 14th July, I had lunch with a friend and then I had some drinks with my partner and his/my friends and I felt great, I had a really nice day, with great company!
Sunday 15th July I woke up and throat was sore again , so I blamed the alcohol and Ashley reminded me it sore before that , and we just had a laugh and I felt “fine” I went to my mums and we had organised to go see Ashley’s new little nephew who is premature so I was constantly worrying that I was going near a baby with a sore throat and I wanted to be 100% certain that’s all it was, I couldn’t risk it , it played on my mind for a while then I eventually rang 111 at 2:05pm, explained my symptoms and about my Cancer , I then got an appointment for 3pm so off we went...
Hospital ...
We arrived at the hospital on time, and went straight to primary care where our appointment was made, we didn’t have to wait long and in I went to see a doctor.
He then told me that my temperature was high and he just needed a word with the “specialist” he then came and told me they need to take some blood and to go through to A&E he handed me an envelope to hand over, I went through to A&E and then lady at the desk opened the letter and stabled it.
Me and Ashley being the nosy sods we are, had a read through and under ‘diagnostics’ was “Neutropenic Sepsis” we googled it and this is what it says “Neutrophenic Sepsis is a life threatening complication of anti cancer treatment, the term is used to describe a significant inflammatory response in a person with or without a fever” anti cancer treatment being my chemo tablet.
We got Called straight through and the women said “I need to take bloods and get you on antibiotics straight away” she got bloods fine (a fair few) then she had 4 attempts at getting a Cannula in, but she couldn’t keep it in the vain , so she had to get another lady who told me “every hour is crucial to get you on antibiotics” she had two attempts then got it in, definitely worked as my blood splattered the wall haha!
The antibiotics went in then off to a room I went..
THE ASSESSMENT ROOM
We stayed in the assessment ward, the doctor came and told me that they caught Neutropenic sepsis just in time, if It had been left another hour I would of had sepsis and it would be a different story!
We stayedin a room till about 11pm waiting on my room on AMU (acute medical unit) to become available and completely cleaned down as I got told I needed to be in a room on my own away from any possible chance of infection ect I wasn’t allowed visitors or to go out the room.
After the antibiotics was in they put me on fluids as my bloods said I was dehydrated, these fluid bags were 8 hour bags, but I constantly have to be on them.
I had my chemo tablet and it got stuck because my throat was so swollen ! Was sore to take it.
On the AMU ward I was in a closed room , and left to sleep (not much sleep, but I was so weak and drained I needed to get much as possible
The next morning they brought me some anti sickness tablets the first one was fine, then I threw the next one back up , so I couldn’t keep tabelts down, so they decided my anti sickness would now need IV through my canular.
A little later few doctors came in and told me I have been lucky and did the right thing to call the hospital as it could of been life threatening (hearing something like that is unexplainable, you just feel sick at the thought you could of let that happen to you) He also explained that unfortunately due to being on Chemo tablets for the rest of my life I will always have Low white blood cells which means I have a weakened immune system (nothing they can do for that) but because of that I am at high risk of catching sepsis/infections/viruses/flus ect, so I need to start preparing for times like this to happen, it’s shocking to know that hospital stays are gonna happen again , and upsets me to know this is the life I have.
He then asked to have a look in my throat and said it is inflamed and red , and that he wants me to get a throat specialist in to have a look and see what they think, he then made a joke about lookin into my partners for kissed me , it relieved some tention and helped Me relax, he also wanted to rule out that this was not because of my cancer reacting to my chemo
An hour later , a consultant came in (one of the cancer doctors as mine is away on holiday) and he said he doesn’t want me to go home or stay in this ward he’s getting me transferred to haematology ward to get the best care with my condition (same ward I was on when I found out about my Cancer)
HAEMATOLOGY WARD
I then got taken up to the haematology ward.
Now before I go on, I must say this ward deserves its own appreciation! Everyone is so welcoming and understanding with everything going on, always check up you, give you the best care, you’re never left in pain and they remembered me from last time, Hospital is so scary , extra scary when you know you have Cancer and things can jsut dramatically change , and they make you feel so relaxed and in safe hands , Honestly can not fault this ward or the staff !
Anyways back to it, got to the ward , room next door to last time , haha!
Got more antibiotics on fluid, and sickness through my Canular.
The nurse came to take some blood later on in the day and unfortunately struggled, after Sunday day all the attempts my arms were bruised and sore!
In my bloods it said I had flow potassium, so they had to include it in my drip.
Each drip was 8 hours then new bag, while in between being on 3 bags of antibiotics a day.
I could only eat in nibble bits at a time, as anymore than a mouth full id feel so sick , drinking also hurt my throat
Then the throat specialist came up and asked how I was, and how I ended Up in here , and had a look in my throat , she said there is inflammation and redness around the throat but she wanted to double check with her manager if they can put a camera down my throat just to rule out anything else.
Her manager agreed and said they’d be back up with the camera.
The nurses on my ward took swabs or my nose and back of my throat to send off, as no infection in my bloods.
About 6.20 the ladies came in to do the Camera, which they go through the nose to get to the back of the throat and luckily all down there was okay :)
They changed the arm of my canular as it was hanging out my arm, meaning no fluid would get in correctly.
I had my visitors saw my Brother and his girlfriend, then my two friends becca and Darren came up as she wanted to see me ! I felt fine I was having a laugh explaining it all feeling good as I’d been in and out of sleeep a lot so I felt I was better !
They went home and then 11pm came .. Chemo time!
At first I felt fine, then about 40 minutes later, my tummy started doing summer saults, I knew I was gonna vomit , worst thing for me is being sick, I really really hate it !
I told Ashley to run and get me a sick bucket as I was still attached with my machine I wouldn’t get me and the machine to the toilet in time!
I threw up and it was lumpy and had some blood in, the nurse came in as She heard and she rubbed my back, and told me it’s okay. She took the bucket to make notes on the blood ect, as she went I then threw up again except it got stuck in my throat and I couldn’t breathe I panicked , Ashley helped and up it came, all together I was sick in 3 sickness buckets , it wasn’t nice, nothing left to come up.
The nurses in the night kept making sure I was dosed up on anti sickness through the night.
I was so weak from being sick that I went to sleep, waking up feelin sick or for my Obs to be done / get my medicine!
NEXT DAY
Nurses told me they will keep me on fluids from losing some being sick and not being able to keep things down.
They kept coming in with face masks on, told me they had to take pro caution, because my swabs have come back to saying I have a virus.. So they have to wear them to protect me from further virus and from them passing it on to other patients
Later they said infection control have found what the virus is so they no longer needs to wear masks (thank goodness! I felt diseased)
Later the doctor came in and She told me that I have Parainfluenza which is a flu virus , and normally the normal human body can fight it off but with someone with a weakened immune system, it can be life threatening and that is why I stayed in to continue antibiotics and get treated !
They came for blood and unfortunately she couldn’t get any out my right hand (only vein left that hadn’t been “blown”) so she asked to get some out of my feet, I explained that much feet was no good I got all hot and sweaty/panicky at the thought of it and that I’d kick out, I burst into tears when Ashley pretends to bite my feet haha !
So she said the only way she can do it , is by going straight into the Artery (wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be) least they got blood !
Ashley had stayed both nights with me in hospital which I am so thankful for especially the night I was sick ! But this night (Tuesday) I told him to go home so he can have a good sleep and rest for work !
WEDNESDAY
I woke up and I felt sick so the nurses came in to give me some anti sickness at about 4am , she went to put the IV in my canular, and she said my arm around it was swollen and badly bruised , as she put the anti sickness in , blood came out my arm where the canular was in my arm it was like a “pop” and it did hurt, she said must of been a clot in the vein. She then went and asked another nurse about taking the canular out or it will keep swelling , they didn’t want to take it out because they wouldn’t be able to get a new one back in because my vains have been shot/blown , she said to keep an eye on it and see how the swelling goes.
6:30 am the women came into get blood and lucky she managed to get some blood!
At 8:45 they told me my bloods have comeback good so I can get off my Fluids (I’ve been on constant since being in here) so that nasty Canular can come out :D
Still feeling sick they gave me tablet forms to try, and injected directly into my stomach.
The swelling has came down and I’m slowly drinking and eating on my own , the nurse said all goes no well and I dong throw up I can GO HOME TOMORROW!
So lots of rest and drinking and take much time eating !!
My white blood cells have gone from 0.something to 3.9!!! It’s still low , but normal for someone on chemo as I’ll alwyas have low white blood cells, hence my weakened immune system
COMING HOME
So it’s Thursday it’s been a long 4 and a bit days, so many ups and downs , pain, sickness, tears ! I have been so strong and managed to build myself back up well enough to get home!!!
They said my blood pressure is still low and if I’m worried they will keep me in, obviously I said NO, I’m ready to go home and get better !! :D
It’s scary and very emotional to know that this is my life now, just over 3 months ago I am a happy leanne getting on with life and now so much has chnaged, knowing scares like this is now going to be apart of my life hurts it really does, no one likes hospitals and I’m always going to be so worried what’s gonna happen next and when it’s gonna happen?! What plans may be ruined !
I had a Cancer retreat on Monday but unfortunately I’m not well enough to go, incase the virus hasn’t completely gone! So I’ve been advices to take some time to relax and stay in and build my energy , lucky I had booked the week off for the retreat , so it’ll give me some time to regain physical strength.
If anything , this scare and upcoming scares has showed me how strong I really am, even though I feel weak due to cancer , I am such a strong girl, to go through all of this and continue to smile and get on with day to day life (when possible)
I’ve been weak, I’ve been frail, I’ve been sick, I’ve been hurting, I’ve been bruised, I’ve been in pain... I AM strong, I AM strength, I AM Fierce I AM Brave, I AM tough, I AM a fighter, I AM battling!
This journey has taught me, it’s okay to fall down as long as you get back up, you fight with all you have, even if you think all you have isn’t enough !
I was crying, not wanting to feel this way anymore, not feeling I can go through this, that I’m “just a girl with cancer” but I’m not! I am me, Leanne , girl kicking cancers butt 💪 never will it get the best of me !
I can fight this, I may not win, but I can fight this 🙌
CANCER IS ONLY A CHAPTER IN MY LIFE, NOT MY WHOLE STORY <3
I will continue to fight this with all I have and with the love and support from family and friends ! And my Amazing rock through every step of this, my amazing boyfriend Ashley, stands by me and I know how hard it is for him to see me go through this, but I would not get through the hospital visits without him !
Together we’re KICKING CANCERS BUTT !!
Leanne xxx
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